Because Newer Is Not Always Better!

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02-05-2005, 12:30 PM
Because newer is not always bett

A software engineer wrote:

Subject: Failed Upgrade
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Smoking 10.3, Boozing 2.5 and Saturday Night Pubs 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications like Night Club 4.3, Dance 'n' Drink 2.0 and Bachelor Party 7.77.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Once I tried to uninstall Wife 1.0 but got this error: "General Protection Fault in module House Security. The Uninstallation will abort." Can you help me, please?

Here was the reply from Tech Support:

Re: Failed Upgrade
This is a very common problem among men, but it is due mostly to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is actually an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge Wife 1.0 from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support;" this was given to you at time of registration with Wife 1.0. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).

The best course of action will be to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE. In fact I would suggest you use this command every time Wife 1.0 crashes on your system. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0 or Movies 4.5.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Visual Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Recent surveys show add-ons like Visual Dress 2.0, Diamond Necklace 3.0, and A Quick Tour To Temple 1.0 are the best Third Party tools supported by Wife 1.0 to allow it to run smoothly and effectively.
Best of luck!
02-05-2005, 06:38 PM
BetterHalf

Husband 1.0

FROM: Jane
TO: Tech Support

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software; severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installs many other valuable programs such as Dinner Dancing 7.5, Cruise Ship 2.3, and Opera Night 6.1. It also installs new, undesirable programs such as Poker Night 1.3, Saturday Football 5.0, Golf 2.4 and Clutter Everywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs. When I click on it, the system crashes. Under no circumstances will it run Diaper Changing 14.1 or House Cleaning 2.6.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!!!

************************************************** ***********************

FROM: Tech Support
TO: Jane
Subject: Upgrade Dangers

Yours is a common problem women complain about and is mostly due to a misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible. Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.

In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support". You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with Heart Break 1.3. I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system. Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME". Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\ I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create Fat Belly files and Snoring Loudly wave files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip! Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran.

Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as Fix Broken Things 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and Best Friend 7.6.

A final word of caution! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother in Law 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until Mother In Law 1.0 is uninstalled.

I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!
02-07-2005, 12:07 AM
The Dude

http://www.myfilestash.com/userfiles/thedude/rofl.gif
10-04-2011, 06:59 PM
embolism

Quote:

Originally Posted by Because newer is not always bett

A software engineer wrote:

Subject: Failed Upgrade
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Smoking 10.3, Boozing 2.5 and Saturday Night Pubs 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications like Night Club 4.3, Dance 'n' Drink 2.0 and Bachelor Party 7.77.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Once I tried to uninstall Wife 1.0 but got this error: "General Protection Fault in module House Security. The Uninstallation will abort." Can you help me, please?

Here was the reply from Tech Support:

Re: Failed Upgrade
This is a very common problem among men, but it is due mostly to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is actually an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge Wife 1.0 from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support;" this was given to you at time of registration with Wife 1.0. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).

The best course of action will be to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE. In fact I would suggest you use this command every time Wife 1.0 crashes on your system. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0 or Movies 4.5.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Visual Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Recent surveys show add-ons like Visual Dress 2.0, Diamond Necklace 3.0, and A Quick Tour To Temple 1.0 are the best Third Party tools supported by Wife 1.0 to allow it to run smoothly and effectively.
Best of luck!

Delete using program divorce solicitor 1.0 or terminate with extreme prejudice with Terminator(tm),before system corruption leads to bankruptcy,madness or death !!!
10-06-2011, 02:49 PM
OldVersion Admin

Quote:

Originally Posted by embolism

Delete using program divorce solicitor 1.0 or terminate with extreme prejudice with Terminator(tm),before system corruption leads to bankruptcy,madness or death !!!

Divorce solicitor 1.0 costs too much money. Do you know where I can get a free version?